Fucking Evolve

Old habits can be extremely hard to break.

Now, of course this is true in regards to things like diet, work habits and other, more traditional, routines, but this is also just as true in both how we treat ourselves and how we interact with the world around us.

I put on a tough face -- it's taken some time, but my RBF is pretty damn good (though not quite to the level of a couple friends...!). However, I prefer to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I often attempt to revert back to that, but along with all those feels for me comes the other side of the coin: people get one shot. I will let someone in almost immediately, but the moment they show even a sign of fucking that up, it's over, they're done, get off my lawn, etc.

It's a defense mechanism I learned at a young age. I was that girl in elementary school who got shot down and mocked in front of peers and immediately learned how to put up an emotional wall. You want to be two-faced and make me feel stabbed in the back? Cool, you're dead to me, bro.

Don't get me wrong, I still cry about a lot of shit -- missed lifts, weddings/babies/funerals, lightbulb self-realization moments -- but silence is a powerful tool. However, it is also limiting. If you just cut people out and eliminate the potential issue, what is it really solving? Nothing. They don't know if/why they did anything wrong, you're blindly assuming you're always right and no one comes out a winner in that situation.

One of the best parts of getting older and trying to be your real self is finding friends who get you. Friends who call you on your shit, who share victories and losses with you and who help you fucking evolve. Friends who help each grow, even if you head in different directions, are the best friends to find.

These friends are the people who challenge you to be better, who push you as a person -- to expand your walls and work through shit you sometimes didn't even care to recognize as not a normal occurrence for others because it's been such an integral part of your person OS for almost longer than you can remember.

Those friends -- those are your people. You have to hold onto them and thank your lucky stars you found them for as long as you are in each other's lives. They are the ones who can help teach an old dog new tricks.